


Lapse

by orphan_account



Category: Smosh
Genre: Angst, M/M, Other, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21756457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I'm not a religious man, you know."Damien looked down at the photograph on his desk. A slight film of dust covered it. Things gathered up in his office awfully fast. His finger traced the outline of a face, leaving a clean trace against the glass.
Relationships: Damien Haas/Shayne Topp
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	Lapse

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by: https://smosh-incorrect-quotes.tumblr.com/post/189535348901/damien-i-know-it-sounds-stupid-damien-but
> 
> also available on tumblr :D : https://0-bambi-0.tumblr.com/post/189608188018/lapse

"I'm not a religious man, you know."

Damien looked down at the photograph on his desk. A slight film of dust covered it. Things gathered up in his office awfully fast. His finger traced the outline of a face, leaving a clean trace against the glass. Courtney and Noah stood behind him, in still silence.

"I'm not religious at all. That whole thing has been nothing but a mess in my life."

He sat down in his chair and wiped the dust off on his clothes. His gaze was trained at the floor, his hands clasped together. Courtney took a seat on his desk, while Noah stayed standing in front of the door, fiddling with the badge on his shirt. 

"Still, I used to kneel on the ground beside my bed every night. I'd clasp my hands and close my eyes and pray. I'd pray," Damien closed his eyes, taking a staggered breath. Courtney reached over, her soft hand sitting gently on his shoulder. 

Damien gripped the arm of the chair a little tighter. "I'd look to whatever higher up there was and I'd say, "Whoever you are, i beg that you'll spare me this. Give me back my Shayne." He stopped speaking, silence swallowing the room. Courtney shared a glance with Noah, and they both looked back to Damien. He sat in his chair, the unmistakable sound of sniffling coming from him. He muttered a quick sorry. 

"Before it happened, I would promise him everyday that I would stay safe on the job. That I'd be ok and I would come home to him. So when I came home one night and all I see is him on the floor, nothing in his eyes.." His voice shook as he spoke, he had never recounted it like this to anyone. "I promised to myself that I would find whoever did that to him. Yet they wouldn't let me on the case, they said I was biased." 

His nails dug into the chair. "So instead I shifted my promise to my other cases. That I would find the people who had hurt these families. Cause in this job, there's risk. But it never hits you truly until what you see on a daily basis happens to someone you love." 

Courtney eyes have glossed over, a few stray droplets trickling down her face. Her grip tightened on his shoulder. Noah stood still in front of the door, listening to Damien's words. They both missed Shayne dearly, but nowhere near how much Damien did. 

A new anger filled Damien's words. "That's why we're going to find this man. This man who hurt a teenage girl and left her for dead. Not many people survive, but she did and that's amazing. All we can do is fight to save other people from a more unfortunate fate. All we can do is bring justice to her." 

He wiped away his tears quickly, taking a deep breath. "We are not giving this case up. I can promise you that. This isn't gonna evolve into some cold case just cause we couldn't stop a potential murderer early. Grossman, get to researching. Miller, grab the current files. We need to get a closer look." 

Noah nodded, leaving the office. Courtney took to her feet. 

"Haa- uh, Damien?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I don't know what we'd do without you." She gave him a smile and a nod. With that, she left to go grab the files.

Damien leaned against his desk. He let out a small sigh. His eyes made contact with the photograph again. That photo had a special place in his heart. 

Them. It was them, smiling in each other's arms. Their friend had called them the cheesiest couple before taking that photo. They'd laughed but made no effort to deny it. Just one glance at the image and Damien could tell that he had been truly happy. He had everything, a job he enjoyed, loving friends and most importantly the love of his life. But things change quickly.

A bittersweet smile slipped onto his face. His finger traced back through the clear line he left earlier. He took in the smiles of a younger him holding a beautiful blond man, with electric blue eyes and a smile that lit up his world. 

"I love you Shayne," he whispered. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to save you. But I'll save others." He lifted up the photograph and clutched it against his chest. It felt like a scorch to his chest, no matter how lightly his fingers laid on the back. He closed his eyes, breathing softly. 

"For you."


End file.
